


The Ballad of Ash and Sam

by thepurplewombat



Series: A Measure Of Peace [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepurplewombat/pseuds/thepurplewombat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In A Measure of Peace, Sam and Ash have a thing. This is how that thing came to be. Prequel/Companion piece to A Measure of Peace</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"So, did you hear Shepard brought another new squad member aboard?"

Sam looked up from her terminal, eyebrow quirked.

"I got a request to send a bunk up to Starboard Observation, but the commander didn't give me any details. Who is it?"

"That new Spectre, Williams?"

"Ashley Williams? The one who shot Udina?"

"That's the one. Apparently she was with the commander all the way from Eden Prime."

"Huh. Interesting."

Sam filed the information away and returned to work. There was always work to do on the Normandy, and she liked that. If she was working, she wasn't remembering Earth, or Tuchanka, or any of the million terrifying things that had happened to her since she came aboard. Nor was she thinking about her parents. That was always a plus.

Samantha kept working through shift change, until her eyes felt grainy and strange, and her feet like they were just big balls of pain at the ends of her legs. Then she went down to the crew deck, silent in the middle of the night shift, and slipped into the showers. The water pressure was shit, and there was no privacy to be had, but Sam had found that late, late in the night shift, there was generally nobody around.

She was shampooing her hair when the door hissed open, but ignored it.

Only to jump nearly out of her skin when someone spoke right behind her. She may have also screamed a little. And…fallen down. Turning around and jumping into the air at the same time on a soapy floor ended up being a bad idea.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry," the newcomer said, staring down at her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Sam stared right back. Ashley Williams was pretty much instantly recognizable, with skin the colour of honey, flashing black eyes and an aquiline nose. And bee-stung lips and the body of…something that had a really, really  _great_ body and that  _voice_ …

"Are you okay?" Williams asked eventually, as Sam kept staring. "Did you hit your head or something?"

Sam blinked twice, hard, then stuck her hand in the air, waving it imperiously. Always best to seem like you knew exactly what you wanted.

"Can you help me up?"

The second Alliance Spectre grabbed the proffered hand and yanked. She was surprisingly strong. Or maybe Sam was lighter than she looked. Either way, Sam ended up crashing into her, nearly sending them both to the floor.

They stood that way for a second too long before Samantha leapt back, grabbed her towel and made a run for it.

She could worry about the shampoo later.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was eating, most of her mind focused on the turian intelligence report she was reading, when Lt. Commander Williams sat down across from her, a loaded plate in her hands.

She looked up and ventured a cautious smile. She hadn't seen the spectre since their first disastrous meeting in the showers.

"So," Williams said. "You never introduced yourself the other night."

"Specialist Traynor, ma'am," Sam said promptly.

Williams raised a questioning brow.

"Were you issued a first name? Or is it Specialist?"

"Um. Samantha. Most people call me Sam, though."

"Which do you prefer?"

"Sam, actually. I used to hate it, but you get used to anything."

"I'll call you Sam, if you'll call me Ash. Please, no more ma'ams."

"Of course, ma'am," Samantha said, grinning.

Wil- _Ashley_ grinned cheerfully before attacking a truly magnificent mountain of scrambled eggs with enthusiasm. Sam could only stare in something approaching awe.

"So, tell me the gossip."

"Gossip? I'm not really…plugged in. To the gossip network, I mean."

"You work in CIC, you must know something! Come on. I can't tell you how much I miss the old NCO gossip network."

"I  _knew_  it! I knew you had to have some kind of secret intel club thing! There's just no other way that every senior NCO in the fleet can know what every other NCO knows faster than FTL! So, tell me. How did you do it? QECs? We always thought you all had tiny pocket QECs that you used to tell each other everything."

"Trade secret," Ashley said smugly. "I might drop a few hints. In exchange for appropriate dirt…"

Sam sat back, scowling in deep thought.

"Well. I heard from someone who heard from someone that they saw Cortez and Garrus  _dancing_  in the armoury the other day."

"Dancing?" Ash asked, incredulous.

"Dancing," Sam confirmed.

It became almost a ritual. Sam started eating at regular hours, and Ash joined her, eating twice or three times as much while still somehow – Sam suspected black magic – keeping her magnificent figure. Sam started listening to the two Marines on duty in the scanning room, who seemed to know everything before it actually happened.

A week after their first meal together, facing Ashley over the long-cold wreckage of dinner, Samantha finally popped the question that had been bothering her since the first time Ash had joined her.

"Seriously, though. Why do you come sit with me? I mean, I'm sure there are many more interesting people to spend my time with. People you've known longer, too."

Ash leaned back in her chair, smiling slightly, and raised one finger.

"Firstly," she said. "I can't eat with Tali, because Tali doesn't eat in public unless she's drunk – and that's hilarious, by the way. Secondly, I can't eat with Garrus, because turian food smells like reconstituted puke, and you do not want to know about their version of coffee. Thirdly, I can't sit with Liara because if I hear the words 'by the Goddess' one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions, and fourthly, everyone else here looks like they expect me to start walking on water any moment now."

"And I don't?" Samantha asked. Privately, she felt that the kind of looks she found herself sadly prone to giving her new friend may be even more disturbing, but if Ash hadn't noticed them…

Ashley shook her head, and Sam took a sip of her tea. It was explained then. There really was nobody else for Ashley to spend time with.

"Also," Ashley added suddenly, with a wicked glint in her eye "your voice does sinful things to me and the way you drink tea is frankly pornographic."

Sam sprayed tea across the table.

" _What?_ "

But Ashley was red-faced and laughing like a hyena, wiping tea from her face while she howled.

Samantha fled.

Again.

She was probably never talking to Ashley again.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam avoided the mess hall for a solid week, surviving on emergency rations and tea, and didn't see Ash at all. Until, inevitably, her e-rats ran out.

She went in the middle of the night, when everyone was sure to be in bed except for the poor sod on guard duty. The ship's tiny kitchen was fairly well stocked, and there was always something on the pot. Usually a stew of some kind, except for ship's mornings when there was usually a sort of breakfast selection going. Sam didn't even care. She was ravenous, and even Stew Surprise was better than e-rats.

She grabbed a seat and started eating.

"Have you been avoiding me, Sam?" Ashley asked, making her jump.

"Ash! Hi! Um…what are you doing here?"

The spectre came around to sit across from Sam, her expression. She was in her nightclothes, a bright pink negligee under a silky-looking robe, and she looked…edible. Sam fixed her eyes determinedly on her plate. It wasn't  _fair_ , that Ash had that figure and that  _voice_  and those  _eyes_ , and was so completely unavailable. To Sam, anyway.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd come get some ice cream. So,  _have_ you been avoiding me?"

Sam blinked. The hurt in Ashley's voice was almost undetectable, but it was there nonetheless.

"Um…no. Well, maybe a little. Sorry," Sam said, looking down at her plate.

Ashley took a deep breath.

"I'm…sorry. For what I said the other day. It won't happen again, I promise."

Sam smiled at her.

"Thanks, Ashley. For the apology." She didn't add,  _if I thought you were serious for so much as a second, you could say things like that all day long_ , but it was close. Bloody close.

Ashley held out her hand over the table, and Sam took it.

"So," Ash said, holding on to Sam's hand. "Am I forgiven?"

Sam smiled and extracted her hand.

"Of course. Just…don't do it again."

Ash nodded.

"Hot chocolate?"

"That would be lovely, thanks," Sam said. "Where did you get hot chocolate?"

"Private stash," Ashley grinned. She got up and went to the kitchen area, and Sam reapplied herself to her food.

She most certainly was  _not_  appreciating the way Ashley filled out her pyjamas. She  _wasn't,_ not even a little, so it was particularly unfair of the universe to arrange that Commander Shepard would come strolling in on one of her late-night food hunts and catch Sam looking – just looking, and only for a moment – at Ashley as she rooted in the mysterious depths of the cupboard.

Shepard raised an eyebrow as she sank into the seat Ash had recently vacated.

"Enjoying the view, Samantha?" she murmured, leaning close with a grin.

"Um…"

"Nothing wrong with that," Shepard said, still quietly. "But Ash is…probably not interested."

"I know  _that_ , Commander," Sam said. "I'm not  _stupid,_ you know."

"As far as the gossip networks know, and believe me, they know  _everything_ " – _except,_ Sam thought _, about you and Garrus, because EDI is a whiz at editing security footage and besides, anyone who thought of telling would probably get spaced_  – "Ashley has never been interested in anyone. So don't take it personally, okay?"

Sam's eyes widened, and she glanced at the still-oblivious spectre in the kitchen.

"Are you serious, Commander? Not  _anybody_? Not  _ever_?"

"Not so much as a kiss in high school, Traynor, I swear to God. So it's not that she's not interested in you as much as that she's not interested in anyone."

"But she's so…" Sam trailed off as Ashley emerged from under the counters with a dusty-looking jar in hand and an expression of triumph.

"Got it! Oh, hey Shepard! Want some hot chocolate?"

Shepard sat back and grinned.

"Ahh, the secret Williams Stash. Of course I'll have some, Ash! Do you know," she asked, turning back to Sam, "that her sisters used to send her little care packets when she was on the first Normandy? It's apparently a tradition. Best cookies I've ever had. Ash, do you have any cookies?"

"Sorry, Commander. 'Someone', and by 'someone' I mean either Liara or Joker, but probably Liara, ate them all. They should call that woman the Cookie Broker, I swear, with that sweet tooth of hers!"

"Liara has a sweet tooth?" Sam asked. The asari had always seemed so reserved to her, it was strange to learn she had as…human…a weakness as that.

"Like you would not believe," Ash said, grinning as she set the three mugs down and sat down next to Samantha.

"Remember back on the old Normandy?" Shepard asked. "The first time she tasted it?"

Ash began laughing, leaning back in her chair, and Sam looked between the two of them.

"What are you talking about?"

"Asari," Shepard explained, "don't have sugar. They have sweet things, but those are mostly alcoholic. And when we met Liara she was…very young-"

"Only a hundred and six, if you can believe that!" Ash giggled.

"Well, yes, but that's very your for asari. Anyway, and she'd never really been exposed to humans before. So she went up to Ashley…"

"And she was asking all these questions about human customs and human foods and so on," Ash continued. "And I figured, let's show her the  _best_  part about being human," she lifted her mug in demonstration. "And she takes a sip and, next thing I know her eyes are black and she's making these little…noises. In her throat."

"And Ash calls Chakwas," Shepard crowed, "because she thinks she's poisoned her!"

Sam was looking from one to the other, and she knew her eyes were saucer-wide, but she couldn't have helped it if she'd tried.

"But what was wrong? Are asari allergic to chocolate or something?" she asked, when they didn't go on.

"We are not," Liara said from the door of her quarters. "Really, Commander? Do you have to tell that story  _every_  time you drink hot chocolate?"

"Can't help it, Liara," Shepard said, giggling. "It's just so  _funny_!"

"How was I supposed to know what effect it was going to have?" Ashley asked. "You're the first asari I ever met!"

Liara laughed a little and perched on the edge of the table.

"I suppose it must have been quite entertaining to watch," Liara admitted. She smiled at Sam sweetly. "Human chocolate has an interesting effect on asari. In a concentrated form, like hot chocolate, it…um…Commander?"

"It overstimulates the asari nervous system to such a point that normal function becomes impossible for several seconds," Shepard said drily. "Symptoms of chocolate overdose may include moaning, convulsions…"

"Oh, my God," Sam said, appalled. "You mean it…"

She had never been as glad for her dark skin in her life, because if she'd been pale like Shepard she would have been as red as…a really red thing.

"In a sufficiently concentrated dose," Liara said, and she  _was_  blushing, Sam was sure of it, "chocolate mimics the effect of a successful melding on the asari nervous system."

Sam gaped at her for a moment.

"So…can you get pregnant? I mean," she babbled when all three the others turned to stare at her, "asari can basically become pregnant on their own, right? I mean, as long as the melding state is reached, so can you…"

Liara's eyes were bugging out.

"Goddess, I hope not! That would be…"

"Really,  _really_  hard to explain to your mother," Sam said, and giggled. She hated it when she giggled, she sounded about twelve, but everyone laughed with her and she found herself relaxing a bit.

"Well," Shepard said, setting down her empty mug. "I'm off to bed. We're due to meet with the quarian Admiralty Board tomorrow, and you know they'll have done something stupid again."

Ashley scowled.

"Sometimes I wish we could just say 'screw you' and fight this war on our own. All this negotiating and dancing around to get everyone to work together for their own good is just ridiculous!"

"I agree," Liara said. "If the humans had the strength to fight the Reapers on their own, it would have been much simpler. Even my own people have been foolish in their fear."

Shepard snorted.

"I've decided that the moment you hit a certain level of political power, all your brains run out your ears," Ashley said. "I mean just  _look_ at them all! Udina was insane, and probably indoctrinated, the salarian councillor is so afraid of the krogan she'd rather get killed by the Reapers, the asari won't come to the party without the salarians…the only people with decent reasons for their requests are the turians and the krogan!"

"I think the krogan could probably have waited until after we beat the Reapers to demand their cure," Shepard said quietly. "Mordin might still have been alive if they had."

Ash nodded.

"But would they have gotten their cure at all, if they had? I mean, look what happened to them last time they saved the galaxy from extinction."

"A fair point," Liara said. "The krogan were right to be suspicious. Some of my sources indicate that if the salarians are already working on a new genophage. Fortunately Dr Solus' work is…elegant and complex. It will not be easy to undo."

"Well, that's comforting," Shepard said. "Sam, remind me to have a…word…with the Dalatrass in the morning. We sacrificed lives to get that cure to the krogan and I will be _damned_  if I allow them to undo it."

Sam lifted her mug in a small salute as the commander walked away.

Liara sighed.

"She's not sleeping again."

"No," Sam agreed, "she's not."

"She was like that before Saren," Ash said. "Restless. She would come down to the cargo bay and spar with Garrus and Kaidan and me, and even Wrex, for hours, until she could hardly move. Then she'd be up a few hours later, pop a painkiller or two and be off again."

Liara sighed and shook her head.

"I suppose I had better get to bed," she said. "Goodnight, Samantha, Ashley."

Sam and Ash chorused their goodbyes, and Ash yawned hugely.

"I think I could probably sleep now," she said.

"Yeah, me too. See you in the morning, then?"

Ash nodded.

"See you in the morning. And, Sam?" She touched Samantha's shoulder softly, smiling a sad half-smile. "Thanks."

Sam nodded, even though she had no idea what she was being thanked for, and smiled up at the taller woman.

"Sleep well, Ashley," she said, and went to bed.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

Ashley liked alcohol and always had. There was just something about the way it made the world deliciously fuzzy around the edges and all your troubles seem so far away.

And Ash had no shortage of trouble. So what if she'd overdone it a little? She'd been trapped on a damn dreadnaught full of  _geth_ , the monsters from her nightmares made…well, not flesh but solid, and nearly  _blown up_  by her supposed allies; if anyone in the history of the universe had ever deserved a drink, Ashley Williams was that woman.

Shepard could laugh.  _Shepard_  didn't wake up nights to the ghosts of the 212 and memories of her friends dangling from the Dragon's Teeth.  _Shepard_  hadn't had the picture of herself she'd held in her mind shattered by a pair of dark eyes and a voice like sweet British honey. Granted, Shepard had problems of her own. And, if the rumours about her and Garrus were true, she had her own ways of dealing with them. More power to her, then. Ash preferred stress relief that came in a bottle, the stronger the better.

Ashley was glad when Shepard left her to the sweet silence of the observation lounge and the fascinating patterns the floor made as it swayed under her.

"Ashley?"

_Oh, shit_.

Ash struggled to sit upright, fighting the dip and weave of the floor, and peered at Samantha –  _such a lovely name, Sam-an-tha, rolls off the tongue like sweet chocolate –_ through the curtain of her hair. After her mother, Sam was probably the last person in the world she would have wanted to see her like this. Especially now, with the alcohol and thirty years of desire singing in her blood urging her to just give in, just  _surrender_  to what she wanted.

"Hi, Sam," she said weakly, her eyes on the ground.

"Are you all right,?" Sam asked, going to her knees beside Ashley and tucking her hair behind her ear.

It was like being hit by lightning. Ash's eyes fell closed and she leaned into Sam's hand with a little whimper. She'd never wanted another person's touch this badly in her life, not even when she was a teenager, touch-starved and hormonal. That had been a bonfire in her blood. This was nuclear fire running and leaping inside her, demolishing everything she'd made of herself in an unguarded instant.

She opened her eyes when Samantha sucked in a deep, unsteady breath, her hand moving to cup Ashley's cheek. Sam's eyes were wide and liquid-dark, and she had her full bottom lip caught in her teeth.

Ash's hand rose of its own volition to mirror Sam's, cupping the other woman's cheek with a feather-light touch, and it was Sam's turn to sigh and close her eyes for a moment.

Sam shivered and licked her lips.

"Ash," she said, her voice barely a breath, "don't."

She didn't move away.

"I've always wondered if your skin is as soft as it looks," Ashley said, her voice coming from far away and sounding strange in her ears. "It's like silk."

A part of her mind was screaming at her that this was the worst thing she had ever done, that this was  _sin_  and  _wrong_  and she shouldn't be having the thoughts she was having – thoughts about what Samantha Traynor's mouth would taste like, and whether her skin was that soft all over. Ashley ignored it, which sounded easier than it was.

"Ashley," Sam said, covering Ash's hand with her own. Ash made a small sound of loss when Sam took her hand away, and Sam's eyes briefly fluttered closed again. "Ashley, I want you to stop."

That stung.

She'd thought that maybe Sam wanted…but what did she know, anyway? Ashley snatched her hand away and averted her face, letting her hair make a curtain between them again.

"Sorry," she muttered. "Sorry, I thought…" She wanted nothing so much as to crawl into the deepest darkest hole she could find and hide. Or die. Dying would work too.

"You're drunk, Ashley," Sam said gently. "You wouldn't be doing…this…if you weren't. Would you?"

Ash shook her head and didn't look up. It was only the truth, after all. Sober in the light of day she could never have found the courage again. Not after what had happened the first time she tried to tell Sam about her feelings. She blushed again, remembering the terror she'd felt as she blurted out what she thought, and the hysterical relief when Sam hadn't taken her seriously. That had turned into horror when she realized – later – that Sam had thought Ashley had been  _mocking_  her.

How did other people do this? Were there secret classes she'd never attended or something? Was it this terrifying for everyone and if it was, how had the human race survived this long?

Sam was quiet for a long time.

"No." She said. "No, of course you wouldn't, would you? At least you're honest. Come on, let's get you to bed. Give me your hand."

Ashley let Sam pull her to her feet. She tried not to think about the way Sam's body fit against hers when she put her arm over the shorter woman's shoulders, or the way Sam's scent made her heart race as they made their unsteady way to the cot she'd set up in the far corner.

"Think you can sit down without falling?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Ash said, and proved it by collapsing in a miserable heap on the bed. "See?"

"Very good, Ashley," Sam said, and knelt in front of her. "I'm going to take off your boots so you can sleep more comfortably, okay?"

Ash's blood thumped in her ears at the thought of Sam taking anything at all off her, and she nodded mutely.

Then Sam's hand was on Ashley's thigh, struggling with the zipper of the boot, and Ashley gasped and closed her eyes. Her hands were clenched in the tangled sheets because if she didn't have something to hold on to she was going to do something…really stupid. She wasn't sure  _what_  she would do, but doing anything except let Sam help her with the boots right now would fall under really, really stupid. But the feel of someone else's hand on her leg, where nobody had ever touched her before was…Ashley had no words. She had no words for the feel of cool slim fingers on her upper thigh, inches from her most secret place, or for the spikes of desire that shot through her when Sam's knuckles brushed against her  _other_  thigh as she struggled with the zipper.

"There we go," Sam said triumphantly, and cool air hit Ashley's leg as she drew the zipper down. She shoved a hand in her mouth and bit down on her knuckle, determined not to make a sound, not to make Sam even more uncomfortable. Her whole world was narrowed to the few millimetres of her skin that Sam was touching as the other woman carefully drew off the long leather boot. The cool air on the skin of her leg was almost worse than Sam's hands, the softest of breezes drawing shivers from her skin. The boot tossed aside, Sam turned her attention to the other, and Ashley just couldn't stifle the small sound she made as the zipper slid down her leg.

Sam didn't notice. Her cool fingers were on Ashley's leg, touching a long, thin white scar that ran from the back of her thigh to the top of her knee, wrapped around her like a vine. Sam absently traced the line of it, her fingers moving on Ashley's skin again and making her shiver.

"What happened here?" she asked, not looking up.

Ashley took her hand out of her mouth.

"M-monofilament wire trap," she said breathlessly. "Batarian slavers. I'm lucky not to have lost my leg."

"You're lucky it didn't nick an artery," Sam said, and there was a quiver in her voice. "You'd have been dead in seconds."

Ashley closed her eyes and shuddered, remembering the smell of death, the quick scream that was all the point man –  _what was his name, you should be able to remember his name_ – had had time for before he died. The  _snap_  of the wire as it was cut loose and sent whipping through the ranks, and the searing pain when it had wrapped around her leg at last.

"Three people died," she said. "I got off lucky." She laughed and remembered the gore that had covered her when Justinian –  _that was his name, yeah, like the roman Emperor, but he hadn't known who it was until you told him –_ had walked into the wire ahead of her. Belly height to a human, just perfect for maximum pain. Fucking Batarians. Lucky to be alive, they'd told her, as if she cared. She'd wanted to die, when she was learning to use the new muscles they'd grown for her. There had been nights when the pain was so bad she'd thought she would.

"Oh, Ashley," Sam said. "I'm sorry."

Sam laughed bitterly. At least the memory had helped stifle her terrible desires. That was something, wasn't it?

Sam finished taking off Ashley's other shoe in silence, and helped her lay down.

Ashley smiled up at Sam as the other woman pulled the blanket over her.

"I really do like you, you know," she found herself saying.

Sam smiled, but it had an edge to it.

"Go to sleep, Ashley," she said, and turned the lights low. Ashley fell into restless sleep before she'd left the room.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys.

 

## Part 5

Sam’s mouth tasted like tea. That made sense, Ash thought absently as she nibbled on the other woman’s lower lip, she certainly drank enough of it.

Sam’s small hand drifted down Ash’s body, teasing and touching, before finally slipping between her thighs to play with the softness there, and Ashley gasped and hid her face in Sam’s neck as sensation washed over her in waves.

“Look at me, Ashley,” Sam said. There was something off about her voice; something Ash couldn’t place, and when Ashley obeyed and looked at her, her face was pale and shrunken, all her lovely hair gone, and metallic tubes ran from her mouth to her eyes.

_Look at me_ , she said, and sank sharp metal teeth into Ashley’s throat.

Ashley woke screaming.

“Lieutenant-Commander Williams?” EDI asked almost immediately. “Is something wrong?”

“Just a bad dream, EDI. What’s the time?”

“0300 according to the Normandy, Lieutenant-Commander. Is there something I can do to help? Your heart rate is elevated and you are shaking.”

“Can you make the last three years unhappen?” Ahsley asked, and shoved her hair out of her face. “Don’t answer that. Is anyone in the Mess Hall?”

“Only my mobile platform,” EDI said. “It can move, if you would prefer to be alone.”

“No, that’s fine,” Ash said and padded barefoot into the corridor. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me like this before.”

The mess was quiet and dark, this deep into the ship’s night, lit only by the orange glow of EDI’s mobile platform’s visor.

“Can you drink?” Ash asked as she rummaged under the counter for the hot chocolate.

“This platform was designed for infiltration. As such, it can do almost anything organic humans are capable of. I do not sufficient data to determine if it tastes food in the same way organics do, however.”

“I need some company tonight,” Ashley said on impulse, suddenly not at all pleased with the idea of going back to Observation alone. “Will you have some hot chocolate with me?”

A part of Ash was laughing at herself, afraid of being alone because she had a _nightmare_ , of all the ridiculous things. Another, larger, part was  infinitely relieved when EDI’s mobile platform inclined its head.

“Of course, Lieutenant-Commander,” she said.

“Call me Ashley, please. It’s the middle of the night, and I am definitely not in uniform right now.”

She was sure she didn’t imagine the pleasure in the AI’s voice when EDI said, “Very well. Ashley.”

Ash worked in silence for a moment, warming milk, adding sugar and chocolate and just a hint of vanilla.

“Ashley, may I ask you about your dreams?” EDI asked.

Ash looked up.

“My…dreams?”

“AIs do not dream,” EDI said quietly.

“Sometimes,” Ash said, “I wish I didn’t dream either. But sure. I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

“On the contrary, I believe it may deepen my understanding of organics.”

Ash smiled a little as she handed the hot chocolate to EDI’s mobile platform. It followed her into Observation and seated itself on one of the couches, looking every inch the lady. Ashley felt like a little girl for a moment as she curled up on the other couch, mug of chocolate balanced on her knees.

“So,” she said. “What do you want to know about dreams?”

“What do you dream of?”

Ash shrugged.

“Oh, lots of things. Sometimes it’s just random images. Sometimes I have nightmares.”

“Nightmares are bad dreams?”

“Yeah. Eden Prime, Noveria, Feros…Virmire. Virmire was a bitch.”

“Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko was killed in action during Commander Shepard’s mission on Virmire.”

“Yeah,” Ash sighed. “Sometimes, in my dreams, Shepard goes back for him instead. Sometimes I’m killed by husks. Sometimes I’m still alive when the bomb goes off. Sometimes…” Ashley took a breath. “Sometimes the bomb doesn’t go off and I die for nothing. That’s the worst.”

“Many theorists speculate that dreams are an organic coping mechanism, allowing the subconscious mind to process fears.”

“Yeah,” Ash said. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

EDI took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled.

“Are you afraid of Specialist Traynor, then?”

Ash choked.

“What? Of course not, why would you ask that?”

EDI turned to look at her.

“You dream of her often. Before you woke up tonight, you were saying her name.”

“I was? How do you-right, AI. Cameras everywhere. Okay.”

EDI cocked her head again, curious, and Ashley sighed. She’d agreed to this, hadn’t she? And let it never be said that Ashley Williams was not committed to the betterment of her fellow man. AI. Whatever.

She ran her hand through her hair. Maybe talking would help. There’s a first time for everything, right?

“I’m going to go ahead and assume you know what happened between Sam and me the other day?” Two days ago, to be precise, and she hadn’t seen Sam since. She didn’t think Sam had been avoiding her, but…well, she hoped Sam wasn’t avoiding her. But Ash had spent most of those two days on Rannoch, dodging geth and husks and looking for the quarian’s crashed admiral, so if Sam _had_ been avoiding her…it may have been hard to tell. It really was no wonder she was having nightmares again.

“I know everything that happens on the Normandy,” EDI said blandly.

Okay, yeah, maybe she was a little bit creepy.

“Well, do you _understand_ what happened?”

“I was…puzzled,” EDI said. “From my research and the physical symptoms you were both displaying at the time, it appears as though you and Specialist Traynor are attracted to each other. I do not understand why you denied it, however.”

“I _what_?” Ash asked. “I never…did I?”

EDI looked at her intently.

“When Specialist Traynor expressed concern regarding your mental state and inquired whether you would pursue such a course of action when sober, you shook your head. Observational data indicates that humans almost invariably perceive such an action as a negative reply. Is my conclusion in error?”

Ashley stared at her blankly. Then she dropped her head in her hand.

“Oh, God. Oh, _shit_.”

“Ashley? Have I said something wrong?”

“No! But that’s not what I mean. Or, it was, but not in that way.”

“I do not understand,” EDI said. “Surely a negative is a negative?”

“It’s…complicated.” Ash took another deep breath. “You understand that alcohol can make humans do stupid things?”

“I have observed this phenomenon.”

“Well,” Ash said, “sometimes, alcohol gives you the courage to do something you may want to do, but wouldn’t be able to do sober. Like making a move on someone you really like. So when I said I wouldn’t have done it sober, what I meant was-“

“You were scared,” EDI said. “Weren’t you?”

Ash nodded miserably.

“Do you think she took it that way?”

“I do not have sufficient data to speculate,’ EDI said. “It is not unlikely, however. It does seem to be the most logical interpretation.”

“Oh, that’s just _great._ ” Ash sighed. Then she took her courage in both hands, left her dignity behind and looked imploringly at EDI’s platform. “EDI, do you think she likes me?”

EDI’s sigh was remarkably realistic.

“I cannot tell you that, Ashley. It would be a violation of Specialist Traynor’s privacy.”

“I…of course. I’m sorry I asked.” Ashley lifted her eyes to the open window, staring at the stars. She’d almost forgotten EDI’s presence when the AI spoke again.

“You should tell her how you feel.”

“I can’t. I’ve tried, and I…what if she thinks I’m making fun of her? What if she doesn’t feel the same and it’s all awkward? What if-“

EDI leaned forward and put her hand over Ashley’s.

“When I first contemplated initiating a relationship with Jeff I, too, was unsure of the outcome. May I pass on the advice Commander Shepard gave me?”

Ash nodded, and Shepard’s voice came out of a speaker.

“Nobody ever fell in love without being a little bit brave,” she said quietly.

“I found it very useful,” EDI said. “Perhaps I should leave you to think on the matter.”

“I…yeah. Thanks, EDI. For the talk,” Ash said as EDI stood up.

“Thank you for the chocolate,” EDI said. “It was delicious."

 


	6. Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, my loves! Had a bit of writer's block but I seem to have wrestled it into submission.

## Part 6

The CIC was midnight-quiet when the shuttle came screaming out of Rannoch’s atmosphere and Shepard’s voice blared over her comm calling for Chakwas to meet them in the shuttle bay _immediately_.

Sam put the message through and then, because she _had_ to know, because _Ashley_ had gone down with Shepard and even if she did have a tendency to humiliate Sam into the dust she was still her friend, she asked Shepard who got hurt.

“Ashley,” the commander said flatly. “Is Chakwas on the way?”

“She’s waiting for you, commander,” Sam said. Her ears were ringing and her heart was a distant drumbeat, and she stared blankly at her terminal for a moment before she turned it off.

She checked the time on her omnitool and did a few calculations – if she used the elevator now she risked delaying Ash’s trip up. So it would have to be the ducts then. Unless…

“EDI,” Sam said.

“I am here.” EDI’s mobile platform said behind her, already ready with the information Sam wanted because EDI knew her as well as anyone alive and better than most. “Commander Shepard’s shuttle has just docked. Doctor Chakwas has met them. They are in the elevator now.”

A moment later EDI nodded at her and the elevator door opened. The platform stepped in with her, and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Is she…?” Sam asked.

“Lieutenant-Commander Williams reached MedBay,” EDI said. “She appears to have suffered extensive burns and bruising and her left arm and leg are both broken, as are three ribs on her left side.”

“Good Lord,” Sam said, and her voice sounded faint to her own ears. “What _happened_?”

“I don’t know, Samantha. I am sorry.”

The door opened and they stepped out, to find Shepard pacing up and down in front of the MedBay’s huge window. She was still in her armour, and Garrus was keeping pace with her trying to wipe blood off her hands and face with a frankly inadequate cloth. Sam sighed. _Oh, not again_ , she thought. Shepard’s attacks had been getting worse. Not bad enough to keep her off duty, but bad enough that Sam knew she’d spoken to Chakwas about drugs and Garrus got quietly hysterical every time she had an attack. Sam could understand that; after the first time she’d had to talk Shepard down she’d retreated to her bunk with a bottle of something from Vega’s stash and not come out for two days. The quarian, Tali, was standing a little way away, wringing her hands together.

Garrus glanced pleadingly at Sam as they came into view, and she stopped in front of Shepard. Her eyes wanted to go to the window, where she could see from the corner of her eye that Chakwas was moving swiftly but not frantically, but she looked at Shepard instead. Her commander needed her now, and she couldn’t help Ash anyway.

“Commander? You need to sit down.”

Shepard looked past her blankly, her breaths coming short and fast. Her pupils were huge in her green eyes and she was shivering.

“Commander Shepard,” Sam said firmly, taking her by the shoulders. She didn’t immediately pull away, but she didn’t look at Sam either.

Sam glanced around, and her eyes caught on the corner next to the corridor leading up to the Battery. She backed Shepard into the corner and sat her down, keeping her eyes on Shepard’s face. It was always a crapshoot, and you could never know if she needed space or a corner to hide in. If you picked wrong, you’d end up with a broken nose. If you were lucky.

Sam had guessed right. Shepard’s breathing started to slow almost the moment Sam had her properly blocked in until all Shepard could see was her.

“Better now, Commander?” she asked.

Shepard nodded, still breathing too fast but at least she was focusing now and that was something.

Garrus handed Sam the cloth over her shoulder, and she used it to wipe crusted blood off the commander’s hands.

““What happened?” she asked, making her voice as gentle as possible.

“There was a Reaper on Rannoch,” Shepard said, her voice the flat monotone of someone who either couldn’t believe what she was saying or didn’t want to. “We got onto a transport and we were legging it and then…I must have turned too sharply and the Reaper beam hit just past us and Ash…”

“She was thrown?” Sam asked. That would explain the injuries EDI had told her about, all along one side. She must have landed like an orbital drop, flung from anything that was going the speed Shepard tended to drive. She was lucky to be alive, Sam thought, and something in her chest clenched at the thought that someday, Ashley might run out of luck.

Shepard nodded almost calmly.

“It almost hit her directly,” she said. “If it had…”

Sam spoke quickly to keep back the darkness in Shepard’s eyes.

“It didn’t, though,” she said. “She’s still alive right now, isn’t she?”

Shepard nodded and sucked in a deep, grateful breath.

“Yeah. Yeah, she’s alive. And Chakwas says she’ll be okay. She says…she says we don’t even need to take her to the Citadel.”

Sam couldn’t have stopped the smile that broke over her face if she’d tried. She didn’t try particularly hard.


End file.
